On Being a Non-Tree


The tree jostled limply in the wind.  Nothing the tree could do about it.  Nothing the tree could ever do about anything.  The tree would forever be at the mercy of forces outside of its control. Until one day somebody decides to cut it down.  Then the tree will be dead. Tony was staring out the front window.  He didn’t want his job.  He didn’t … Continue reading

Stop Letting Pitbull Be Famous

In the last two days I have heard “Feel This Moment” by Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera three times.  Shoot me.  Clearly I am listening to crap pop stations, but I’m on a road trip so it’s not like I have my normal presets.  Apparently Fargo area has an obsession.  So not my fault. Every time I hear or see this guy I get angry.  I … Continue reading

An Ode to Soda


I kind of like this poetry run I’m on.  It continues….I shall call this lyrical creation: An Ode to Soda A Harlot in the street. Calling me, luring the Impulsive Man to your abode. Gaseous carbon becomes encased, saturating your smooth liquid nectar in a Divine Ratio. States of matter somehow exist in harmonious relation. You seduce me. I devour you. My delight, immediate. Yet … Continue reading

Ke$ha With a Dollar Sign


Once sweet. Once innocence.  Taken for granted. Once lollipop. Once tea parties with inanimate, infant companions. Easy bake. But the glitter has spilled. Thirsty eyes find their rest in unicorns, for a moment. Soon only Jagger quenches. Alcoholic toothpaste. A product; liquid plastic fills a Template. Somewhere a Ponytailed Man lights a cigar. It’s not your fault. Ke$ha with a Dollar Sign. . . … Continue reading

Somebody That I Used to Know – Acapella


Love me a good acapella.  And what a great angry breakup song – it must make Kelly Clarkson jealous… Do people really still use the phrase “I’m so happy I could die”?  And “collect your records”?  This song was clearly conceived by a ghost writer…who is 50.  Nevertheless, as previously mentioned, great angry breakup tune. Apparently they also do house parties.  See? … Continue reading

Cleaning House

“Clutter is a form of visual distraction, and everything in our vision pulls at our attention at least a little.”  – Joshua Becker, Can’t think straight?  Try cleaning your desk bub! Similarly to this guy, there is a huge difference in my ability to think straight when the room, desk, table, etc. is clean.  Before clean desk, mind = steam filled, foggy jungle with monkeys … Continue reading


Old people can be so uninhibited… At some point, you just don’t care anymore. This guy feels no pressure to conform to societal norms.  He’s not worried about what anyone else is thinking.  He simply “is.”  What a wonderful place to be. He could also be senile or have a degenerative brain disease.  Either way, his uninhibited state must be nice. Compare to the two … Continue reading


Discipline spills over. If you are disciplined in one area of life it’s easier to be disciplined in another. Like if I get up and run every day at 8 AM sharp, it’s easier for me to be consistent in my prayer life, or in my academics, or in my eating habits, or in flossing my crazy teeth. But if you slip in one area, … Continue reading

Bananas and Peanut Butter


So I am realizing that a lot of my Quick Picnics are about food.   I guess that’s what I think about so so be it!  Food is essential to the survival of our species so I guess I don’t feel too bad…blame it on Darwinian tendencies.  But anyways, I just found out about Bananas and Peanut Butter. A little background: I have a sordid … Continue reading

Frozen Grapes


Something about frozen grapes mystifies me.  For some reason, it seems like they get sweeter when they freeze – like some little taste fairy sneaks inside with a packet of Splenda and then dips out.  Grapes are good, but frozen grapes are like some kind of delicacy.  Like monkey brains in Indiana Jones.  I’m not sure what happens, but when you drop the temp, it … Continue reading

Separate Ways

Group Portrait of  Journey

Must…add…ridiculous…videos. Sometimes it’s just best for two people to go their separate ways, you know?  But let’s switch it up and try a thought experiment.  Why don’t you, for a moment, think of that lady as the personification of, say, selfishness (or insert your personal vice here).  Now imagine yourself going your separate way and leaving her behind.  Was your mind just blown?  I think we both know … Continue reading

Most Annoying Foods


What are the most annoying foods to you?  I mean the ones that, when your friends (or enemies) eat them, you just can’t stand it. #1 on my list would be apples.  I am totally fine if someone uses one of those apple slicers and eats the pieces individually, but if you’re taking a big chomp out of an apple without cutting it, odds are … Continue reading

Being Denied

Keep your composure when denied.  Push all the frustration deep down inside where it will never come out.  The only side effect may be massive bulging stress wrinkles on your forehead. Odds anybody watches the whole video?  Not good…my favorite clip starts at 0:26. … Continue reading


Here’s my deal with dancing.  I’m either all in or I’m not getting on that floor. If I can somehow break that barrier of self-consciousness, I might be poppin all night.  Some of the most fun times I’ve had were at dances.  But it’s so rare that I get past that barrier.  I might go out for a song or two, feel weird, and exit … Continue reading

Dogs and Dale Carnegie


Dogs.  Who doesn’t love dogs?  I’ll tell you who – only people with hearts of cold, dead stone.  And little fancy boys.  What’s not to like?  They live to give you positive attention.  All they want to do is love you and be with you.  When you are away, they just sit around and wish you were there.  When you get back, they jump up … Continue reading